That’s right, as Lauren would say: another f***ing growth experience. Seriously, all this so-called “learning” and subsequent “growing”–it’s freaking relentless! Personal learning, professional learning, academic learning, emotional learning… Basta, ya!
Except, yeah, I can’t really say “basta” two weeks before finals, can I? Yeah, didn’t think so.
Today’s growth experience was definitely a new one. Group therapy. Oh yes, you read that right: Group. Therapy. (What??) I had a group “coaching” session with my team and my LEAD coach today. I was nervous. I was apprehensive. I was downright scared when Viqui and Valentin almost had a knock-down drag-out 10 minutes before we were to meet with our coach (who, admittedly, I have a MASSIVE crush on–clearly, this didn’t help my feelings going in). Above all, I was thinking, why the HELL do we have this now, 2 weeks before finals, when there are 99 other things I could (and should!) be doing??? However, despite all of my nerves, fear, and apprehension: it was GREAT. Tense at times, and definitely not pretty, but all in all, completely productive! (I definitely credit our awesome coach for being an incredible mediator–which didn’t make my crush on him any smaller, that’s for sure!) We even managed to end the session laughing, and went to the caf’ to get a beer together. I’m definitely feeling better about the next two weeks, and all the work we have to do, because I feel like whole new channels of communication were opened up. Awesome.
The other place I’ve been excited about growth is in my personal/emotional life. I had started to form a crush on a boy here (no, not my LEAD coach–I do actually have SOME sense of decorum about these things!), and it seemed like things might be going well, and poof! He disappeared off the scene. Okay, that’s not true, he’s still on the scene, I just don’t SEE him, which leads me to believe that he might be avoiding me. And guess what? I don’t care! Ha! I’m so freaking proud of myself for not caring, I can’t even express it. As I have commented to several of you: after a solid year of chasing after a (ridiculously unavailable) man (of my dreams) in Boston, and then torturing myself about his uncontrollable unavailability, I just don’t have any chase in me. Especially now, when I’m busy and stressed and have better things to do with my time than worry about whether or not a boy (who I’m frankly not even THAT interested in) is going to call. HA! It’s so damn liberating!! A boy doesn’t like me, and I DON’T CARE!!! Wheeeee!!!!
On the academic learning front: I actually understood my quiz in financial analysis this morning. Yay!!! This in no way means that I did well on said quiz, but I am SO excited that it’s starting to sink in a bit. Whew! What a relief!
And seriously, these are but a small sampling of the lessons of the week. Others include: the alarm clock MUST be set across the room (and not in my bed) or I simply will not wake up; business law might just be passable the second time around; I suck at case interviews, and will need a LOT of practice; Spider Man 3? not a bad film, but unwise to start it at 11:30pm on a school night; the Borne continues to be my favorite neighborhood in BCN; the Reagan years were even more heinous than I had thought (read an article about the IMF and the World Bank this week that made my skin absolutely crawl); it is actually possible to make time to cook simple dinners that beat the crap out of ramen noodles; there are more internship opportunities to explore in Portland for the summer; Mara has TWO nephews; Patrick M has exciting surprises in store for me in London next weekend… Etc, etc, etc… The list goes on…
And all of these just add up to: yet further f***ing growth experiences–which, don’t get me wrong, are excellent, but also thoroughly exhausting, and sometimes, I just don’t feel like I NEED more learning/growth experiences, but they keep coming and coming and coming… Thank GOD it’s almost Christmas Break, during which time the only things I hope to learn are: who’s going to hire me for the summer, exactly what IS the human limit on intake of hollandaise sauce, and what does my beach house look like during the winter. Y basta, ya.
Hang in there, o growing one..perhaps you’ll manage to bloom as well. Love, Mom
Hollandaise sauce *O*