Home Stretch–oooooh, man… December 14, 2007

This week passed freakishly quickly. And when I say freakishly, I mean, I woke up confused this morning that it wasn’t Tuesday. Seriously. (Okay, not THAT seriously, but you get my point.) Our program director explained to us today that this is a totally normally part of the b-school process–you know, the ol’ “break them down to build them back up” gag. Which, intellectually, makes perfect sense. But I’d be a liar if I didn’t admit that I am, in fact, feeling a bit broken at the moment. I have slept precious little this week, I am in no way on top of anything, and it ain’t over yet. Tomorrow some friends and I have an all day study day planned, during which time we’ll be reviewing Quantitative Models (seriously, that class weekly brings me to the verge of of a nervous breakdown), Finances, and Accounting. Given that my last accounting quiz was a raging disaster (40%, ugh), I think it’s safe to say that I have a LOT of studying to do. And I KNOW I’ve said this a lot, but really, sometimes I feel like business school might just spin me into an identity crisis. We know that I’m not that logical or practical or blah blah blah, but the numbers classes are KILLING me, and making me feel downright SLOW on a regular basis. Like, I just can’t wrap my brain around concepts that should be fairly simple–you know, add, subtract, multiply, divide… (Except, as I have mentioned, Quantitative Models–we see symbols in that class that I’ve certainly never seen before.) But no, no, it’s ALL HARD. ALL of it. So I constantly have to ask myself if, well, I’m maybe just not that smart–or, like, not as smart as I like to think. And there’s just SO MUCH WORK!!! It’s incredible. I was supposed to have dinner with friends tonight, but, yeah, I just don’t think I have it in me. I’m thinking about a burger from the Irish Pub, take-out, and maybe some TV, and then bed by 10. But actually, I should finish (and start, ahem) my Geopolitics project tonight, because it’s due on Monday. Oh, AND–the organizational behavior project probably cost me a year off the end of my life, and I’m pretty sure my group thinks it totally sucks. Probably because they know that Valentin and I didn’t really start it until this week (HOW MANY times do I have to learn the “don’t leave things to the last minute!” lesson???), and it was certainly not my best effort (even if I did spend at least 25 hours on it this week, mostly in the middle of the night). I can’t help but feeling like I’m teetering on the brink of a VERY expensive disaster… Luckily, pretty much everyone seems to be feeling just as nuts and freaked out as I am, sooooo, ummmm, I guess this is just part of the process? Right? Um, right.

Soooooo, I can at least console myself that at this precise moment next week, I’ll be on a plane from Amsterdam to Minneapolis, and then on to Portland, pajamas, and hollandaise sauce.

But the next 7 days? I think it’s safe to say that they’re pretty much going to suck–but at least they’ll suck and be over quickly, given how this week went, and then I’ll have TWO WHOLE WEEKS to not do a single school related thing, and hopefully, at least for those two weeks, I won’t feel like an idiot. That’ll be nice.