For some reason, I’ve convinced myself that it’s a GOOD idea to do the super duper detox again — you know, the maple-syrup-lemonade no-food-for-days one. The same detox that, last summer, made me violently ill for the first couple of days, and let’s not even discuss how ill I was after. But somehow, in my get-fit mania, I’ve convinced myself that this is a good idea — I’m so intent on getting healthy, I should do a cleanse, too, right?? Right. And, as luck would have it, my roommate is also interested in this cleanse, so we’re doing it together. The plan is to just do a week, though (not 10 days), since we both have plans that we don’t want to cancel next weekend (that involve eating and drinking, clearly).

I must admit, today is day 1, and my willpower is not what it was when I did this last year. I’m hungry. I’m spacey. I feel mostly good about the choices I’ve been making with food/drink lately (um, except my bizarre compulsion to make carrot cakes…), which might make a detox seem less necessary. I’m dreading the potential migraine tomorrow after 48 hours caffeine free. But still, I don’t know, the idea of a detox is appealing. I’m so stressed out about finding a job and have just been channeling that energy into getting healthy and ignoring the job search. So, I figure a little, erm, taking out of the garbage?, can’t hurt — as though, I don’t know, it’ll help to re-focus me. Plus, I’m not even doing the whole 10 days, so it can’t be THAT bad, right? Right??

But as I’ve said, my willpower is NOT what it was, so we’ll see if I can make it through the whole week. Maybe 4-5 days would be enough… Although, that’s probably not the BEST mentality to have as I kick this thing off… Well, we shall see.

It seems I have just four weeks left in South Africa. Wow. I still feel like I’m getting acclimated here, and it’s swiftly approaching time again for me to leave. Typically, with this realization I am spiraling into a giant freak-out about What Comes Next. On Saturday, I damn near worked myself into a full blown panic attack when I realized that there are soooooo many more jobs in SF and Seattle than in Portland. Which means, of course, that the responsible thing to do would be to expand my job search. I’ve put my heart and soul into this degree, and should try to get as much benefit from it as possible. However, the mere thought of continuing to be in a long distance relationship with my awesome honey makes me feel like there’s an elephant sitting on my chest; I really, really want (need??) to be where he is. So now I’m back to the drawing board with my business plan, and I think I have a really good idea, BUT — I haven’t yet figured out how to make it profitable enough to live on. It’s still beer, just not a shop (yet!!).

Of course, What Comes Next is terrifying for a plethora of reasons — mostly having to do with uncertainty, and a lot of scary, unanswered questions. No matter how sure I feel about my relationship (and I feel pretty damn sure — 10 years of being best friends is an unbeatable foundation!) it still feels like a gamble to move halfway around the world to be with someone, especially given that I’m launching myself into an incredible sketchy job market. It’s a strange thing to be SO sure about Micah, and do terribly UN-sure about, well, EVERYTHING else.

However, I do have four weeks left in South Africa, and there are a LOT of things I should do before I go. My housemate and I are going to do a half Master Cleanse this week (so just 5 days, starting on Friday — which is to say, AFTER my dreaded finance mid-term), and then we have plans to do some hiking up Table Mountain and Lion’s Head, since I haven’t done that yet. There are restaurants I want to try before I go, too, and probably a fair amount of touristy type stuff to do. Which means, I think, that the next four weeks are going to FLY by. Then it’s off to London to hang out with my awesome “family” there, and then… Back to the US! (Um, provided that prices become reasonable. Wow, yeah, flights are CRAZY expensive right now.)

So, yeah, four weeks and counting!!

As I was a-jigglin’ away on the elliptical yesterday, my mind wandered to my least favorite thing to think about (um, besides the jigglin’ arms, jigglin’ booty, jigglin’ belly… ah, but I digress) — The Job Search.

Ooooh, The Job Search. Two years later, I feel no closer to knowing what I want to do with this fancy, expensive degree o’ mine. What have I considered up to now? Well, it began with the green spa, then it was HR type stuff, the it was anything at all, as long as it’s in Europe, then I got on to social enterprise, then the beer shop, and now? Now, I’m just confused. Which is awesome, because one month from now, I’m unemployed, and two months from now, I’m unemployed and living with my grandmother. Don’t get me wrong — I still looooove the idea of having a little beer shop to call my own, but have, for the time being, talked myself out of it (for cash flow reasons).

But yesterday, on the elliptical at the gym, I got to thinking about passion. All of these ideas about career have in common that they’re things I am, or I think I am, passionate about — ah, there’s the rub: things I THINK I’m passionate about. For example, I really, really love beer. So much that I’d like to make my living peddling the delicious, malty, hoppy stuff. However, since I’ve been in South Africa, I’ve been on a total hiatus from beer (since, as David will attest, the beer here is less than thrilling — like Spain, but without the oasis that is the MBPoW). And actually, it’s been okay to take a big break from the beer. In fact, I hardly miss it. So I have to wonder: am I so fickle? Out of sight, out of mind? I’m only passionate about beer if I can go down the street for it?

The question I came to (while simultaneously ellipto-sprinting my b-school weight away) is: what am I truly, consistently passionate about? Anything? Or am I so fickle that things totally come and go? (I think we know what I’m currently obsessing about — Operation MM(f)PF — when I should be obsessing about…? Um, exactly. Job search. And beer — writing that b-plan for beer. Which I am decidedly NOT doing.) I do, definitely, move through phases of obsessing about things, and I don’t want to make any career decisions based on what’s AWESOME for me today, because what’s AWESOME to me seems to vary with the seasons… And the sad thing is, I’m not even sure I know what I’m consistently passionate about. People, I guess — I never stop being excited about people, and being able to help them from time to time. Kids, definitely — I looooved working with kids, but I’m not sure I want to go back to that. Ummm… what else? Words? Language? I love to read/write/etc, and I’m pretty proud of my abilities with the ehSpanish. Consumables? (Food, beer, cava, etc…) Independence — is that something one can be passionate about? But are any of these things compatible with my post-MBA career possibilities? And are they even relevant?

Adding insult to injury, I’m not even sure it matters what I’m passionate about. The job market in Portland (like everywhere, I s’pose) has yet to show me ANYTHING that calls to me — in HR, in social enterprise, in a brewery, or in freaking Corporation X that offers me a reasonable wage to show up every day. Nearly everything I see requires 10+ years of experience and some further degree or qualification that I don’t have.  Oh, I mean, unless I want to paint houses, work in a call center, or go door to door for the Sierra Club.

But even if there were a million jobs available, I’m not convinced that I would be any more clear about what I want to do with this degree. It’s an awesome degree, and it was an amazing experience, but: I probably should have done my research a little better before I started, because I would have known what kinds of jobs people GET with an MBA. All the way through this degree, I have struggled and battled and fought with myself over the same question: what do I want to DO with the MBA? Coming to the end of it, I still don’t know. All I know is that I don’t want any kind of job like my summer job, I’d like to be as close to being my own boss as possible, I’d like to do a job I feel good about (as in, it’s socially responsible, it makes a difference, it somehow makes the world or at least a few people’s lives better), and I’d really, really like to be passionate about it. Sooo… I guess I need to figure out what that means.

In my life prior to b-school, you probably heard me say, repeatedly, that I wished I could get by just working part time — you know, 20 hours or so a week, just enough for “a sense of purpose.” And what does that even mean? Well, to me it means that I’d have a good mix of obligation (somewhere I HAVE to be and things I HAVE to do when I get there) and free time; or rather, enough obligations to then be able to creatively FILL my free time, if that makes sense. I guess I mean order and structure, but also balance and liberty.

The reason I mention this is that I’ve finally nailed down what’s been so troublesome about this time in Cape Town. Yes, I’m lonely. Yes, it’s foreign here. But is that really it? To be honest… No, I don’t think so. I think if I were uber-busy with school (like I was 12 months ago, for example) I wouldn’t have TIME to feel so lonely and frustrated and culture-shocked.

What I’m missing here isn’t my home and isn’t my friends (though I DO miss you guys!!). What I’m missing is a sense of purpose. School occupies precious little of my time, and it’s (theoretically) the reason I’m here. I’ve made my gym project a serious part of my life here, but that, too, only occupies at MOST 2 hours of my day (more often an hour, though, if I’m being really honest). I’ve also made a special project of sharpening my cooking skills, but that, again, is really only 2 hours a day. And if I’m being really sincere, I would call these things self-indulgent side projects (which is reductive, I know, but reflects how I feel) — distractions, more than anything.

Most people I know would LOVE to have the time (er, the “problem”) that I have. They might even be content filling their time the way that I do (cooking, reading, gym-ing, etc). But I don’t know… I find myself wondering what’s WRONG with me, why I can’t be content with my lovely, simple life here. Is it Super Woman complex? Some kind of bizarre guilt that I’m not filling every hour of every day, AND trying to save the world? (Um, yes, probably.) Is it deeply acculturated American obsession with productivity? (Absolutely. You can’t divorce that sh** in a month.) Am I mad at myself for my own lack of creativity and discipline? (YES.)

In summary, I’m missing a sense of purpose. A raison d’etre, as it were. I feel convinced that the loneliness, discomfort, culture shock — ALL of it — would diminish radically if I felt like there was something I HAD to do here, some way that I HAD to fill my time.

The thing is — this SHOULD be enough. My life is lovely and beautiful here, and WHY should I be so obsessed with “productively” filling my time? Why can’t I just relax and enjoy it? Why do I NEED a sense of purpose? I wish I had an answer for that. I wish I could find that perfect center that they talk about in yoga and just BE here, in the moment, thankful for the time and unconcerned with how much I fill it.

I’m thinking there has to be a happy medium. Maybe I’ll content myself with filling my time the way I have been, or maybe I’ll find more “productive” ways to fill my time — hopefully, it’ll be a little bit of both. And sheesh, it’s not like I’ll EVER have this kind of time again, right? So maybe I need to let go of this whole sense of purpose business, at least for now, and just enjoy this beautiful city, eh?

So far, I’m still not feeling terribly settled in here, and I’m trying to remember if it took this long for me to feel comfortable in Spain — probably not, since I already knew Raul, and my social life with all the other MBAs kicked off nearly the moment I arrived. Here, it’s so very different — all of the other students are all already acquainted, and I’m the lone exchange student in the group. Don’t get me wrong — they’re all extremely friendly and approachable, and have been very welcoming. But they also have more course work than I do, and are still at that early, stress-y stage in the MBA. Having already been through that stage (and then some!) I can relate, but have no interest in re-tracing those stressed-out steps.

Luckily, Megan and David were here last week, so I got to pretend that I have a social life. We went to a few really great restaurants, a halfway decent club, and spent a wonderful afternoon last Sunday at Cape Point, the most South-Westerly point in Africa. Once again, rather than narrate, I’ll illustrate with photos. Of course, this is just a handful. It takes a year to upload these to the blog, so you can see the rest here.

Luckily, I have my new gym regimen to keep me busy (been there 9 out of the last 10 days! and it’s not getting ANY easier! wheeeee!), as well as fun veggie/vegan cooking projects. Earlier this week, I made some yummy soup from Laura’s blog, and my roommate made a delicious black bean one. (Yeah, it’s about to be winter here. Winter? In MAY? Yep — in the Southern Hemisphere, friends. Luckily, I think the winter here is more or less equivalent to, say, Santa Cruz or Barcelona, so it won’t be that bad. That said? Rain and fog are still indisputably soup weather.)

The thing is: I just can’t seem to get comfortable here. Yet. Maybe it’s the in-your-face racial divide. Maybe it’s the nine million cautionary tales I’ve already heard about walking the streets after dark (which is a big DON’T!!!!!) or getting in the informal taxis (think: giant gypsy cabs, like in vans, but with routes, and, if I understand correctly, more or less run by the mafia — probably totally safe, as so many people take them, but potentially a place to get mugged, stabbed, kidnapped…. too many years of watching Law and Order, methinks, and I can’t get myself to get in the damn things, so I’ve been paying for taxis to and from school — no public transportation… thank goodness it’s relatively cheap to do that!). Maybe it’s the WAY too present evidence of the difference between the “haves” and the “have nots.” Maybe it’s just that I don’t really have friends here yet. Maybe it’s the cats pissing in my room. (Did I mention there are FIVE of them??) Probably? It’s all of the above. Still, though, I know that this, ultimately, is an incredible experience, and that all of that discomfort must ultimately dissipate and leave my horizons broader than they were. Until then? Like I said: the gym, good eating, and maybe, just maybe, a little bit of studying and business plan writing.

Incredibly, I’ve let another month or more pass since my last post… But lemme tell ya, it’s been a FULL one — epiphanies, travel, “research”, revelations, revelation — in short, a LOT of fun stuff.

The short version would include a whirlwind 24 hours in London with Kim, Marijn, Patrick and Laleh in February, then a FABULOUS visit from the famous WDA in March. Will and I took an INCREDIBLE trip to Bavaria to visit J&L, who might just be the greatest hosts of all time ever — pancake breakfast, weisswurst and weissbier breakfast, trips to Alpine monasteries — that’s right, plural, and no, not for “gawd”, for BEER — an aborted sledding expedition, beer by the liter, the list goes on and on. We then came back for a killer week in BCN and a celebration of Will’s 30th! We ate, we drank (and oooooooh, did we DRINK!), we conquered… ‘Twas grand (and well documented in pictures on WDA’s profile on the FB, if you’re curious!). But the party didn’t stop when Will left! Last weekend, my girlfriend Megan and I hopped on a last minute train (half off if you buy online within 24 hours! FYI to those traveling by train in Spain!) to San Sebastian, where we spent the weekend (can you guess it?) eating and drinking! Holy Pinchos, Batman, it was some EXCELLENT food! Okay, so that would be the travel and revelation part. The next awesome happening in the last month has to do with revelations, epiphanies, and the aforementioned “research” (which is my new favorite euphemism for drinking beer, but more on that in a moment).

As we know, the market is in the proverbial “sh***er” — it’s impossible to step into the street in Spain without inevitably hearing someone mention “la crisis.” (My friend Terry here has proposed La Crisis Drinking Game — every time someone says “la crisis”, take a drink! It’s become an informal toast amongst us soon-to-be-unemployed newly-minted MBAs…) The word from Career Services is to more or less forget any aspirations of working outside your home country, as international visas are going to be VERY hard to find. Of course, we already knew that I’m headed back to the West Coast, but I was having a bit of anxiety about leaving Europe, and at least now I know that it would be more or less imperative either way. Sad, but true. Anyway, we also know that I have seriously struggled with the question (what DO I want to be when I grow up??) of what kind of career path to take after the MBA. And finally, FINALLY, it dawned on me that I should, in fact, set out upon the risky, treacherous, and exciting path of the entrepreneur. (Which means that I’ll be recruiting LOTS of you for help, advice, “donated”, ahem, services, etc!) I can’t post too much here (intellectual property and all), but will say this: I’ll be combining several of my passions into a little business — think beer and maybe some education and a good amount of narrative, people. I’m really excited, and hoping to hit the ground running when I get to Portland this summer with a complete business plan, so I can jump right into market testing and see if my idea can hold, and then start looking for funding. It’s not grand, it’s not particularly socially responsible (yet! I have big ideas about how little businesses can contribute!), it’s not even terribly innovative — BUT, it’s mine, and I’m excited. My reasoning is this: I can either spend the next 6 months scouring heaven and earth for a job that’s most likely less than awesome and probably not in Portland with my hunny, or? I can create my own fate, be my own boss, and commit myself to something I truly love. So I’m making lemonade, basically, out of “la crisis” (drink!). Also? As I mentioned, I’ll be with my amazing hunny, and we’re planning to do this business together, which makes it totally perfect. I won’t be anything close to economically stable for the next couple of years, I don’t think, but I’m pretty sure I’ll be having too much fun to care too much. And if the business goes well? A couple of rocky, busy years seem like a small price to pay, because in the best-case-scenario, it’ll be stable by year 3 and I can shift focus elsewhere — I’ll let you all fill in the blanks on that one.

That more or less brings us to now. And NOW is, well, full. Everyone here is starting to get really intense about leaving — with reason, of course. This has easily been the most intense 18 months of my life — of all of our lives, I’m pretty sure; we’ve collectively made friends for life, crammed more information into our brains than I would have thought possible, traveled, suffered, partied, laughed, cried (and cried, and cried…), etc.  All in all, it’s been, as predicted, a life-changing experience. (Of course, the life-changing continues for me in Cape Town, but given that graduation is — gasp! — next week, it’s starting to feel pretty official now.)

This next week brings my last classes at ESADE (tomorrow, actually!), some awesome parties,beach with friends, and then? My parents get here on Monday (yay yay yay!!!), M&D get here on Wednesday (yay yay yay!), and after they leave? I have just over a week to wrap up  my life in Barcelona, pack my bags, and head to Cape Town — which will be a whole new chapter of this adventure called an MBA. I’m excited, sad, overwhelmed, ecstatic, melancholy… Whew! I can’t believe it’s all coming to an end! I feel like I just started this blog, and it’s almost time to start wrapping it up. (Don’t worry, I’ll blog in CT — and probably MUCH more faithfully, since I’ll have more schoolwork to put off doing!)

Oh, and hey, if you want more info about my little business and how you can help me start it, just email me, and we’ll talk. To “la crisis”! (Drink!!)

Aimee and I used to joke that any time a person finishes a sentence “per se…”, they more or less negate whatever they said right before that. Like, “He’s not unattractive… per se…” (“more like homely…”) or “I don’t hate my job… per se…” (“it freaking sucks”) – you get the picture. So to say that I haven’t been in hiding since I’ve been back in Spain, well, it’s neither true nor untrue, I guess.

After those three incredible weeks in Oregon/Washington/California, and then a whirlwind last couple of days in NYC, I found it excessively hard to re-adjust to my life in Spain, though I couldn’t for the life of me put my finger on exactly why.

For my first month here, I found that I’m just not very creative when it comes to free time. Which is to say, I had (have, actually) a LOT of free time — to the tune of 5-6 days a week when I’m not in class, and have no other obligations or commitments. I’d like to think that I’d be using that time to, I don’t know, write a novel? Find a job? Go to the gym obsessively? Un-pack my stuff and move back into my room? Read a book? Pick up singing again? Improve my abysmal knife skills while practicing cooking with world-class fresh ingredients? Meander and get lost in the nooks and crannies of old Barcelona? You get the picture.

Alas, no. Of course, I did a little bit of all of those things (except singing and writing a novel), but mostly? Mostly, I slept. And watched teevee on the interwebs. Or movies. You get the picture — a LOT of time in my bed, in my pajamas, being extremely angry at myself for not doing any of that other stuff, but still not finding the motivation to get out of bed. And all I could think was that I must be the MOST BORING person ever to have existed on this planet.

So how am I now? Still boring? Well, yeah, kind of. But not as extremely. At the beginning of this month, I went to Washington DC and Brooklyn for a week for a conference and 4 much-needed days with My Honey, and came back feeling mostly refreshed and ready to get my booty in gear. And then? I got said booty kicked by jet-lag, and found myself right where I left off — in my bed for many, many hours of the day.  It’s freaking humiliating. I joined the sexiest gym in all of Barcelona, with SUCH lofty “Make My Pants Fit” Goals, and can hardly stay awake for most of the day, let alone awake enough to drag myself to the gym that I now haven’t visited in three weeks. Ridiculous. And then? Then I went on the annual ski trip last weekend — seriously, some of the BEST skiing of my life, which was invigorating and great — and got back on Sunday night, only to totally, once again, fritter away most of yesterday and today. (I did manage to do laundry and make a kickass soup today, but really, that’s it. Oh, aside from sleeping until 1pm and then watching the most recent episode of House and a couple of Law and Orders, in my bed, in my pajamas, just for good measure. And right now, I should actually be doing what little schoolwork I have this week, but am SO not feeling it… Ergo, blog.)

Typically, my mom and My Honey and various other friends and family are full of theories to explain my current paralysis, and offer many ideas for remedies. Which is great. Honestly. They’re great ideas — that I totally haven’t been able to force myself to put into practice. And it’s not like I don’t totally know that I will KICK myself, months from now, for wasting all of this precious time. Of course I know that. I’ve always always always wanted to have this much free time, but now that I have it… I’m a sloth. A pathetic, frivolous, uncreative sloth.

So now I’m working on a checklist of things I need to do every day (um, apply to jobs??, go to bed before midnight, etc), and things I should do every other day (hit the gym, work on some short stories, etc). I’m hoping that if I post these lists in my room, where I have to look at them every day, I’ll feel a greater sense of urgency to, you know, get out of bed (for example) and maybe DO some of those things. I am, of course, very open to suggestions. What would YOU do with five free days every week in Barcelona? (Probably not stay in bed ALL DAY, I guarantee you that.)

Anyway, all this to say: I’m here. Back in Barcelona, and (sort of) back in school. I’d like to say that I’ll be better at being back on the blog, but that will totally hinge on my ability to conjure up some motivation and actually DO THINGS that I will later want to write about. Wish me luck.

Hello friends and family! Once again, apologies for the extended absence from the blog, but I’m back in Barca on Wednesday and PROMISE to be a much more faithful blogger in the months to come!!!

Anyway, I thought it would be fitting to start this year with a blog dedicated to a bit of reflection on the last 12 months of my life — which have been full of, as you might guess, revolutions; revolutions that, in turn, are leading me to many resolutions (clearly). 2008 was a funny year for me, since it was split nearly down the middle between living in Spain and living in NYC. My life in Spain, as you all know, was marked by a roller coaster ride of peaks and valleys, manic highs and soul-sucking lows: great visits from friends, abundant identity crises, academic failures, spectacular travel (Sevilla and Dublin are both cities I’d like to revisit!!!), incredible meals, and nearly enough soul-searching to last a lifetime (alas, as I still haven’t figured anything out, I suspect there is yet more of that to come). In NYC, I’ve led a very different kind of life: it’s been a stable, lovely time, full of tremendous family meals, brilliant outings with friends, travel back and forth across the country (three times!), that fabulous trip to PR, long work days and mellow evenings, and an overwhelming return to a revived sense of self.

With so much to reflect on in 2008, it would be easy to go on and on and on. Fear not, I won’t do that! If you’ve been following this blog for the last year or so, you probably know what the revolutions have been, and that they’ve been largely professionally related. (I WILL find a way to save the world AND earn a decent income, dammit!!!) However, the personal revolution that you might not know about (due to aforementioned extended absence from the blog, ahem) is that I finally (finally!!) let myself fall for the man who has loved me best and longest (10 years of marriage proposals — no joke!), and that, starting as soon as I can get my booty to Portland (likely summer this year), we’ll be crafting a new vision of the future — together, which rocks more than I can possibly express here. He’s the best ever, and I can’t wait to see what adventures we’ll have and what life we’ll build. We just spent three tremendous weeks together on the Left Coast, and it wasn’t nearly enough time, but it’s good to know that we can look forward to living together as soon as that’s humanly possible. Also, on a less romantic front, I’ve recently become a vegetarian (not totally true — technically I’ve simply committed myself to a cruelty-free diet, but that mostly means not eating meat), though I don’t know how much I’ll be able to stick to it in Spain (damn that irresistible cured ham!!). All told, 2008 was a HUGE year for me, and I can’t wait to see what 2009 has in store.

Anyway, I said revolutions AND resolutions, right? So how ’bout I just list the resolutions for you, and hopefully making them this public will make me a wee bit accountable to actually hold to them, eh? In no particular order:

– I WILL lose the weight I’ve gained in b-school, hopefully with the assistance of my good pal Dan in BCN.

– Travel wish list for the next 6 months: Munich (J&L, I’m coming to see you!), Paris/London (P&L, where are you guys these days??), Victoria Falls (maybe with Megan and David in April!), Tanzania, Kenya (hopefully to volunteer at an orphanage there), and all of SA, since, you know, I’ll be living there for a couple of months.

– Find a way to get my folks and extended fam to BCN before I depart in April.

– Fiesta at the beach house in August (with so many of us turning 30, there should be a celebration, no? — who’s in??).

– Find a job that allows me to stay true to myself and my goals, and happens to be in Portland and pays a million dollars (okay okay, maybe not a million, but you know what I mean).

– Take advantage of my kickass location in BCN and actually buy yummy foodstuffs from the Boqueria (living with M&D in NY has been a totally inspirational culinary adventure, and I hope to continue the good eating on my own across the pond).

– Be nicer to myself.

– Be as good a partner to my honey as he deserves (which is no small feat, be assured — he deserves outright awesomeness).

Wow, alright, this list is getting out of control, so I’ll stop. But before I end this particular post, I would like to say a very sincere THANK YOU to all of my awesome and amazing friends and family for helping me through the last 18 months of chaos, insanity, panic attacks, and general psychic suffering. I’m predicting a much more balanced 2009, and ask the question of all of you: what revolutions and resolutions do YOU have, coming out of 2008, and what adventures will you have in 2009???

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!

OIALO: Laurent-speak for “Once in a Lifetime Opportunity.” As you may recall, he challenged me back in April to find an even bigger OIALO to trump Cape Town, if I were going to say no to the exchange. As you may also recall, this was one of the arguments that tipped the scale for me, and I ultimately said YES to The Cape Town OIALO (because staying in BCN, while cool, could not compete in the heavyweight “once-in-a-lifetime” class of CT).

So why, now, am I revisiting this theme, nearly 6 months later? Well, unless you’ve been living under a rock or have an aversion to the 24-hour-news-cycle (though, in fairness, don’t we all??) these last two weeks, you will have heard that our country just suffered its worst week in finance since (gasp!) 1929. Which means that work has been busy. Really really busy. Crazy insane I-never-saw-THIS-coming busy. (The super-boring job I wrote about in my last blog? A distant, and now precious, memory.) Which brings me to yesterday, when I sat down with my boss and told him that, if he felt like they could really use my help, I could probably find a way to stay through the end of the year.

The implications of this offer are various, and mostly quite obvious. Firstly, and most obviously, I would be delaying my graduation by one term, and perhaps less obviously, forgoing the much-anticipated Cape Town OIALO (turns out it’s only available, well, NOW). However, it also means that I’m putting myself in a MUCH better position to, at a minimum, acquire and outstanding reference — and (again very obviously) at a maximum, a job offer (though this, admittedly, is a rather remote possibility, given the now-over-analyzed-and-over-discussed Horrific Market Conditions). Unfortunately, this gets even MORE ambiguous, as today I learned that I’m only guaranteed work through the end of October — after that, they’ll reassess, I’m told. (Interestingly, in either scenario, I end up with November and December off — unless they have work to give me here, of course. If I believed in God, I would start to think She was sending me a message about the last two months of this year…)

Which brings me to tomorrow: my theoretical Last Day of Work. I have Thursday off to wrap up my life in NYC and then head to CA on Friday, then on to CT about 10 days later (of COURSE I don’t have my plane ticket yet — c’mon, have you MET me??). However, were I to continue working, well, I’d work on Thursday, fly to CA on Friday, and be back at my desk at 7am on Monday (I get tired just thinking about that possibility, I have to admit — and I’d have to give up playing golf with my dad on Monday, which is a total drag).

So the question is: which of these opportunities is MORE “Once in a Lifetime”??? Which will pack a heftier OIALO punch?? And what do I DO with these two amazing opportunities???  Either way, I know I’m one hell of a lucky girl — but that doesn’t make the decision any easier.

So, Tribal Council: OIALO Cape Town, or OIALO New York??? Cast your votes quickly! I only have a few hours to decide!!!

I know, I’m terrible, and I haven’t written in over two weeks — d’oh!! But I have good reasons! Great reasons, in fact! After that last post, I had a week-long strategy course with my ENTIRE class (Spanish and English sections integrated!), and before it ended Sean and Laura got here to begin their week of Barcelona Awesomeness (and it was, oh man, SO awesome!). So school sort of fizzled and faded away, (honestly, after the pain! the horror! of finals, well, ending the strat class was completely anti-climactic!), and then I switched gears into vacationing-with-my-pals mode (read: frequenting my favorite BCN spots — Bar Quim, the Boqueria, Made in Italy, La Vinya del Senyor, Santa Maria del Mar, my preferred chiringuito, etc). It was an extremely busy end of the school year, what with visitors plus tons of end-of-year festivities (good-bye dinners, good-bye parties, etc). THEN, Kim and Marijn came through on Sean and Laura’s last night (they got engaged here the next day! congrats Kim and Marijn!!!!), and they more or less coincided with the arrival of two other Boston friends, Aaron and Jessie. Whew! It’s been CRAZY! And fun, and I’ve had no problem getting right into vacation mode (do I ever?).

Of course, true to form, I have yet to start packing, which I’m about to do. Really. Any second now… I leave for NYC on Thursday morning, get in around 2:45pm, and then, as far as I know, I don’t start working until around the 30th, sooo… Yet more time off, for hanging out with the family, getting on East Coast time, buying some more suits, and trying desperately not to be too too sad that I’ve just left BCN for the next SIX months!

So the countdown to NY is now two days (eek!) and I should probably get ready to go. Really. Any second now. But man, it’s been an AWESOME couple of weeks, and once again I’m feeling super connected with just how amazing my friends are, both old and new. Good stuff.